Quick Easy Guide: How To Become A Vegan

Thinking of becoming vegan? It’s never been easier! Here’s 8 easy steps you can implement in your life to become a vegan today!

1. Update all your social media bio’s to include you’re decision to go vegan. Your followers will think you’re cool and trendy.
2. Join all the left leaning social causes & groups on social media, like PETA, lgbtq+, BLM, and pro hamas palestine. These are your new friends!
3. Post pictures of your vegan meals every day. Be careful to include as many vegan-related hashtags as possible.
4. Search for, and comment on all non-vegan food pics to express your disgust. It’s not about making them become vegan, it’s about making you a moral authority over everyone else.
5. Tell everyone you meet that you’re a vegan. What’s the point of doing something you find morally virtuous if nobody else knows about it.
6. Open each sentence with: “As a vegan..” This will constantly inform and enforce your virtues on others, providing them many opportunities to be very impressed with you.
7. Never run out of things to say. Plan topics ahead of time before interacting with anyone because the more you talk the more you can implement step 6.
8. It’s ok to eat non-vegan food in private, as long as you’re constantly practicing steps 1-7.

Congratulations! You’re now a virtuous vegan and better than everyone else! Well, except for the transgender vegans, understandably.

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