Quick Easy Guide: How To Become Trans

Not getting enough attention at home or at school? Need a rebrand? Consider becoming trans! It’s never been easier! Here are 10 easy steps you can implement in your life to become trans today!

1. Update all your social media profiles to indicate that you’re very progressive by adding the following flag emojis to your bios: rainbow 🏳️‍🌈, trans 🏳️‍⚧️, Ukraine 🇺🇦, and Palestine 🇵🇸. Your followers will think you’re a cool & trendy tranny.
2. Ensure all of your pronouns are up to date.
3. Join all the left-leaning social causes & groups on social media, like LGBTQ+, PETA, BLM, and pro-hamas Palestine. These are your new friends. They understand you - unlike most of your closed-minded Nazi parents.
4. Search for and comment on all pro-American, pro-Trump, or pro-Israel posts to express your disgust towards these abhorrent Nazis. It’s not about making them become trans, it’s about making you a moral authority over everyone else.
5. Dye your hair pink, green, blue or purple, or any combination of these colors.
6. Get as many piercings that can fit on your face.
7. Venture into the city until someone refers to you incorrectly as sir or ma’am. Express your extreme disgust at being wrongly labeled, either by an “EXCUSE ME?!” or “DID YOU JUST CALL ME SIR/MA’AM?!”*If this happens at a retail store or a restaurant, demand to speak to the manager and have the associate fired.
8. Go home to make a video blog about the incident and post it to all your social media platforms. Make sure to scream and cry as much as possible.
9. Cease all personal hygiene practices.
10. Find and join all anti-Israel and pro-palestine protests. You don’t need any background knowledge - the organizers will tell you what to chant.

Congratulations! You’re now officially trans! For those of you interested in the ‘How To Be Trans Advanced Guide’, which includes university course recommendations, taking puberty blockers, using rifles and making video manifestos, kindly reach out!