Ranking Eating Disorders: An Attention Seeker's Guide
1. Anorexia
The Skinny Idol
Congratulations, you’ve hit the jackpot of eating disorders! Anorexia is as poster child as it gets—media coverage, concerned stares, clothing options, and endless documentaries. People will fawn over your frailty, both horrified and weirdly impressed. They’ll notice and worry, but might also shower you with backhanded compliments. Your suffering is visible, so it’s easy for society to feel sorry for you—just enough to ignore the deeper issues. If attention and sympathy were trophies, you’d need a bigger shelf.
2. Bulimia
The Secret Struggler
You might not get the same immediate attention as anorexia, but once people find out, empathy flows. Bulimia has a flair for the dramatic—binging, purging and secrecy. People might not notice at first, but once they do, prepare for some serious concern (and probably a lecture). Your struggles are real, but they’re messier and less glamorous. You’re like a reality TV star—people can’t look away once they find out, but they’ll judge you the whole time.
3. Binge Eating Disorder (BED):
The Guilty Overeater
Here’s the disorder that nobody wants to talk about. Binge eating? That’s just overeating, right? So, empathy here is often a mix of pity and blame, wrapped in a “helpful” suggestion to try a diet. You’ll get some sympathy, but it’s laced with a hefty dose of unsolicited advice about dieting.
4. Orthorexia:
The Pretentious Health Guru
Orthorexia is the “health-conscious” disorder that doesn’t quite hit the same emotional chords as the others. People might admire your dedication to “clean eating” before realizing it’s a problem, but once they do, the empathy is mixed with confusion. After all, you’re just trying to be healthy, right? Don’t expect sympathy—expect people to ask how you got those abs.
5. EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified):
The “Meh” of Mental Illnesses*
Welcome to the land of being completely ignored. EDNOS is the junk drawer of eating disorders—you don’t fit into any neat category, so no one knows what to do with you. Empathy? Forget about it. People can’t even pronounce what you have, let alone care. You’re the disorder that’s too boring to be noticed. Sorry, but your struggle just isn’t headline-worthy.